Redneck Hillbilly Search

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Strong like Bull

My 80 yr old step grandmother is a neat old hillbilly from the Ukraine. She has stories of a gaggle full of barefooted kids putting in a hard day of work out in the field and then fetchin' lunch straight out of the garden. Cold winters, Hungry bellies - it was a time and a lifestyle not many of us are familiar with these days.

She had a saying that she used to say with an imitated thick and abrupt accent complete with rolling R's.

Strrrrong. Like. Bullll.
Smarrrrrt. Like. Trac-tor.

We use that saying every now and then when we end up using more brawn than brain because it just fits for those situations. Sometimes we're heaving and ho-ing so hard our eyes roll back in our heads when there might be a smarter way to do things... if only we were smarter than a tractor. ;p

So of course, we came... we saw... we bought (or made!)  the T-shirt.

Check it out at

I promise I'll eventually get back to writing about something (or nothing at all like usual) *without* the shameless plug.

Just not this time! ;p

Monday, January 25, 2010

It's Hip to Be Hick!

We're proud to be hicks.  Really.

I know people usually say Redneck or Hillbilly like it's a bad thing, but we tend to think of it as meaning we're old school, down to earth honest to goodness type people who are what we are and ain't afraid to be just that.


This is a design I threw together this morning before heading off to work. I did it  in celebration of overall wearing, pitchfork carrying farmers and old smokey tractors everywhere. Yeeehaw!

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Hick Chick

So I did manage to find at least 10 minutes of lovely peace and quiet, with just me and my keyboard.

As promised, here is the last of the three latest RNH  T-shirt designs.

 Obviously intended for the female persuasion.

So ladies, throw one of these babies on to show them city folk  you're proud to be a hick chick!


I also used this design in two products for little tiny hick chicks - check these out.

Tired of Twi-Heads?

I know I am! I designed this one with you in mind. If you're as weary of seeing Team Jacob or Edward plastered on every female out there from tiny babies to little old ladies as I am - this one is for you!

Real Boys Don't SPARKLE 
So get over it. Mmmmkay?

Us hick chicks dig the Redneck Boys :D

Friday, January 22, 2010

New Redneck Tees!

I just finished designing three  NEW Redneck Themed T-shirts tonight and I figured I'd share at least one of them here before I tuck myself in for the night.

Some of you may recognize this as a spoof on Katy Perry's popular song "I kissed a girl" .. we happen to think that instead of kissin' girls, she shoulda been kissin' rednecks!  Pick one of these up for yourself ladies, or fellas - grab one of 'em for yer lady friend.

You'll have to wait until tomorrow (or the next day... or the next...) heck, whenever I have another 10 minutes of uninterupted computer time to get it sorted! :D

I Kissed a Redneck

Why do I blog?

  I started this blog as a type of online diary using our YouTube name so that anyone could stumble on over here if they had watched all thirty or so videos and were still hungry for more Redneck Hillbilly.

  It hasn't exactly happened yet, so when I stumbled upon this picture I just had to borrow it and post it here. So why am I still blogging? Hmmmm. That is a good question!

I don't have any set subject matter, I don't have any incredible knowledge about a particular subject that drives people to search for me, and I don't ever write about politics or hot debate topics that usually result in exposure and viewer attention. We don't have a huge youtube presence, and I still have only a handful of facebook fans. If I'd have been thinking, I would have chosen my website name or nickname to take advantage of name recognition and traffic, since how many people really put Redneck Hillbilly into Google? 

Yet still I plug away at this "crappy blog" that noone reads. ;p

I figure it's a great way for them fancy schmancy "city folk" who live stacked beside, ontop, and below eachother in skyscrapers of concrete and glass to see how the other half live. Not the other half commonly thought of as the hoity toity richy rich - but the half of us who choose to live away from the congestion and busyness of the city. Us country folk who have gumboots and fencing pliers and know how to use them.

Yessiree, you wouldn't catch me living anywhere near a city after getting a taste of this good life.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Turn a Blind Eye

Sometimes you just can't.  Turn a blind eye, that is.

Our ability to play ostrich and bury our heads in the sand, while biting our tongues so as to avoid confrontation has abruptly come to an end, and we've been forced to play a hand we never wanted to hold.

We bought this little property back in 2004 - Our little piece of paradise, we like to call it. It's just enough room to stretch our legs and play hobby farmer. We have views of a half dozen waterfalls out our kitchen window, are a stone's throw to the river, and have a short drive to "town" for whatever we may need. It would be absolutely perfect if it weren't for this niggling little thorn in our side, a boil that has festered and finally burst.

Let me start off by saying that we are happy-go-lucky, live and let live type people who don't ever want to rock the boat, or cast stones, or whatever other cliche fits here. If you're a decent person, we'll get along just fine. We want to be good neighbours and don't wish hardship on anyone - BUT if you jeopardize the health or wellbeing of our children, the gloves come off.

Our neighbour, who shall of course remain nameless, is a stubborn old man stuck in his ways. We like the guy. He's a neat old coot, a gun toting, tractor driving, full blown redneck hillbilly with interesting stories. We talked over the fence about cattle, gardening, politics and everything else under the sun. He'll do what he's been doing since the 70's  until the day he dies, happy to be tinkering on something or driving around on his tractor. It's a way of life we look forward to in our own retirement.

The problem is, he's a dirty farmer.

We try not to see the dozens of broken, decaying vehicles or parts, dozens of tires, piles of building materials half hazardly strewn here and there, broken coolers, farm implements, and the like scattered throughout the property.  The mountain of garbage that was piled up throughout the year at the roadside for "spring clean up" three years in a row that was finally cleaned up by city workers.   Nobody wants to live next to a dump, afterall. Not one complaint was lodged, when others might have screamed "Good Neighbour Bylaw" from the rooftops. We turned that always blind eye and continued a casual friendship despite all these things. We figured we'd let the guy live out the remainder of his days without any additional turmoil.

We also didn't complain about the whole dead cattle or the guts from butchering dozens of animals that are sometimes left for far too long in the sun before they get buried "in the back 40" along his property line, or dumped in holes and buried behind his barn somewhere. He's a farmer, he lives on a farm, animals die sometimes - we assumed that type of behaviour was part and parcel of living rural.

This past Saturday,  he pushed us too far and crossed the line by burying three large heaping garbage cans and a 5 gallon pail of meat trimmings (bones, fat, bad meat, veil, possibly organ meats etc) along his property line less than 50 feet from, and directly in line with our well. This area has a high water table, sandy loam - conditions for extreme water contamination. This is our drinking water we're talking about here!

We offered to use our own tractor backhoe equipment to remove the material, dispose of it and bring in new topsoil at our own cost to rectify it. He dodged the issue, played dumb, lied repeatedly, changed his story a few times, and denied us access to his property claiming there was nothing there to worry about. Attempts to have his more level headed son deal with it weren't productive. We've now awoken a sleeping giant, and we're afraid it's going to get very ugly, very quickly. We really wanted to deal with this in a neighbourly fashion and not have to report it to any authorities, but the clock was ticking and time ran out.

Now we have to bring in the big guns. It's a sad little saga indeed.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

New Video!

So I've finally gotten around to making and uploading another video to YouTube. This is another DIY'er type video showing how our recroom came together in time for Christmas.

Check it out here:

Oh, and I'm proud to say that the Facebook Fan Page for the Redneck Hillbillies now has..... drum roll.....

five fans. (5).  

My mom, my sister, my daughter, myself... and one other person!  LOL.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Facebook Fan Page!

Hey Yawl! We finally have our very own facebook fan page. I'm not sure if we really need one, but it's nice to know we have the name reserved if/when we actually do. :D   Considering my recent luck with finding names from my main website that I've been using for over 10 yrs already taken on other social networking type sites,  I wasn't gonna risk losing Redneck Hillbillies. Not that I'm stuck on the name - it was dreamt up in the 20 seconds it took me to register for an account on Youtube. It's just that it's become a part of our online identity now - we are THE Redneck Hillbillies. ;P   And don't you forget it!

Redneck Hillbillies

So click on the little photo of our very own hay dog "Blue" up there,  and become a fan.  I would sooo sleep better tonight knowing I have more than 3 little fans out there in the big, bad world.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Bright Blues!

It was my daughter's 14th birthday recently, which is hard to believe since it seems only yesterday she was just a little kidlet. The problem with being in the teens is that they are so much more difficult to buy for! At least in our household, anyway. Long gone are the days when a Tickle Me Elmo would send her over the moon with excitement.

We poopooed her first suggestion for a cellphone, even though everyone but her apparently has one. What meanies we are. We figure,  if everyone else has one already, why does she need one? Next on the list was  a set of colored contact lenses. Not a regular or natural color of contact lenses, that might be believable - but an intense shade appropriately labelled "aqua allure'.

Her beautiful gray/green eyes were instantly covered up with cartoonish aqua flecked and ringed with black. Not so bad from a distance, and great for black and white or sepia portraits. 

  At least they aren't purple, or red, or yellow cats eyes. No way would we have allowed something that ridiculous. She's happy, so Mr. RedneckHillbillies and I are happy she's happy, even though being fuddieduddies we would have chosen something a little more sensible and natural.

Are you ready ? .......


Thursday, January 7, 2010

Brave Doggies

  We own two lovely little foofypoof dogs, Red and Blue. They're farm dogs, but they're not chained or penned outside as most farm dogs are. These two lucky ladies are as much a part of our family as any pets could be, living like little princesses with the run of our house. Prime spots next to the fireplace, their own chair - and each has a little bed to go to at night. (and multiple times through the day)

  Red likes to sprawl out on the back of the couch looking out the living room window, always on guard, while Blue sleeps most of the day away unless she's alerted by Red that there's something to bark at. Boy, can they bark. If you didn't know them as the two bellyrub/buttscratch hogs that they are you'd think they were ferocious.  No living thing is allowed to enter our field, walk down the street, or even be remotely visible from that front window or they'll get an earful from our watchdogs. They are very effective doorbells!

  This morning they were let out for their morning tinkle and bolted like lightening under the barbwire fencing. It's quite something to see these two lazy dogs doing anything fast, so that alone would have been entertaining. Their target?  This wasn't the usual stray chicken, blackberry bunny or feral cat wandering out of bounds - it was a lone coyote in a neighbour's field.

  We hear them yipping the odd night and the dogs cower in fear under our bed or by our heads like the wimpy little housepets they are. Perhaps they were not fully awake and hadn't yet had their slurp of morning coffee? All sense of reason was abandoned, prey drive was engaged, and they showed that coyote who was boss. Coyote - 0.  FoofyPoofs - 1.  No rematches!

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Banished to the Basement!

 I've had so many things to write about the last couple weeks but I've been kept busy battling a number of issues with technology lately. The most frustrating and my topic for today being our two laptops.

The Mr's Toshiba has been a dream as far as computers go, until recently when the keyboard decided to frap out. You can read all about that if you so wish in my post from  November 25th, 09    called "Sticky Keys ".  A new replacement keyboard is on order and must be either coming on the back of a donkey or lost somewhere between China and our front door because it's still not here.

My laptop, the cheapo Dell that we were offered from Telus when we *finally* got real highspeed here (but that's a whole 'nother story!) has decided to cause me extreme aggravation for the last month or so. It's not worth putting any amount of money into, even to pay a tech to take a look at it, because they're cheap as borscht these days. However, it's unusable in it's current state. Some days I swear it is seriously close to being sledgehammered. Good thing I'm such a calm, level headed person  ...(don't laugh too loud there)

It runs for oh, about 10-15 minutes and then abruptly shuts itself off. I try turning it on again and it'll shut off faster. Repeated tries result in the system not even booting up at all.

Virus scan shows nothing, Windows Defender detects nothing. Chances are one of the kids clicked YES to download/install something without really knowing what it was.
If it is a virus in there, it's a nasty mutant tricky little one that avoids detection,rewrites itself,and prevents deletion. I haven't been able to keep the laptop operating long enough to complete a spybot search, or chkdsk, or a registry clean which would probably fix the problem.

So I said all that, just to say this: I'm banished to the basement.

The next few sporadic blog posts will come from the outdated desktop computer running Win98 in the ch-ch-chilly downstairs office. They will also contain no (Zero, zip, nil, nada)  photos, which no doubt is dissapointing for the 2 people who may read them ;p   I know, terrible. This dinosaur doesn't have an SD input slot, and I've  misplaced the old fashioned cable that originally came with my camera.*figures*

Cross your fingers I get this sorted out quickly :D ...  Feel free to leave a comment, in fact - Please do -  if you have any suggestions on where I should look or what I should try next.